Ive been reading about all the infidelity that goes on and the fact the new 20 somethings that are coming up thinking that marriage is becoming obsolete.
In fact the pew research center found that 40% of these 20 somethings thinking marriage is becoming obsolete say that they think being a good parent is way more important then having a good marriage.
There is so much of the living together having babies together that they don't see the point because every one is so independent and they don't want to depend on any one. Ive been there I get it, in fact Ive done it ! But I also believe that parenting should be done as a couple and we have gotten away from this in the last generation, they believe that Divorce is the cure for melancholy. My generation the 30 somethings are perhaps in between the old romantic ideals and the new post romantic expectation. most of our parents are divorced because after all the hippy love and happiness wore off and the smoke cleared and they hit their 40's and they realized they were in a marriage with some kids in middle income
I think my generation has discovered anti depressants and rely on pills for their happiness, every one is bi-polar and depressed and bla bla bla. They think they remember when life was all rainbows and jelly beans and it never really was in the first place, you just plant false memories in your mind and sugar coat them with fluffy pink unicorns, well put on your big girl pants and make your marriage what is it supposed to be a partnership! You cannot rely on you spouse to make you happy.
However you should be generally happy in your marriage, I mean there will be times when the way he drools in his sleep just repulses you or the smell of his feet makes you want to throw up in your mouth , but all in all you must have liked that person in the beginning at least enough to marry and have babies with them right?
Your maybe just bored and semi happy well boredom is basically an attach on a relationships immunity system, however it is not a reason to be unfaithful . Even so people can still end up feeling only semi unhappy there is still a part of your soul that isn't being nourished in the marriage and the men feel trapped and the woman feels lonely . Maybe your expectations of marriage are too high ? It is not about a prince coming in and saving you from all your woes it is about a union of you and your spouse living your life together the good the bad and the ugly. and for those who think that being a good parent is better than being a good spouse well that is all great until your kids are grown and gone then what? Your old and incontinent and so is your spouse. You all better have something to talk about and a spark of love left in there cause its just you and wrinkle's over there looking for his teeth!
ok Im done
TTFN
1 comment:
I agree, I think people are just selfish and instead of trying to work things out with their spouse they just find it easier to call it quits. Then when they find out that no one else is better or can give them all of what they want in life, they end up all sad and think "poor me." Not to mention cheating...that is about the most selfish thing someone can do. As far as being a good parent as opposed to having a healthy marriage, I have to say that having a healthy marriage is a HUGE part of being a good parent. Look at all of the things your child learns by having both parents, and both parents that get along. Talk about teaching your kids how to have a real, loving relationship and not just calling it quits once something gets a little difficult.
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